All my problems with the Xbox One S

The damn thing

I joined the latest generation in game consoles about 10 months ago, with the purchase of an Xbox
One S, and today, after an especially annoying sequence of interactions with said machine, I decided to put together a list of the things that are wrong with it.

In this list you'll find mild annoyances, personal preferences/disagreements and bat shit crazy stuff that I can't understand how in the name of Clarckson can even be able to exist in this world.

External drive disconnects internet

Plug and external drive in one of the back USB ports and you won't connect to the internet even if you pay it a candle light dinner, so no Netflix for you.

If you connect it to the one and only front USB port, maybe, sometimes you can get a little internet, but it will be disconnected soon, in a date and time at its discretion.

And if you try to connect to the internet with the external plugged in in a bad mood, the mighty Xbox will say that your internet sucks and you have to do all sorts of tests and its the console fault.

Xbox can't remember wi-fi spots

You have to connect from scratch, typing that super secure password in a joystick, every time you change locations or the damn external drive disconnects you.

And don't tell me to use my smartphone to type the password...

Xbox smartphone App works when it wants to

Want to turn on you Xbox from the other room? Want to type stuff on a keyboard instead of chasing every letter with a joystick? Great! Maybe today you can, if the app is feeling like it. Perhaps 50% of the time.

External drive is faster than internal

What. The. Fuck.

Yes, people say that and external drive which (has to) use(s) an USB 3.0 interface is faster than the original, came-from-the-factory, was-developed-from-Microsoft-specifically-for-this-device, standard internal hard drive. But this is ok, since...

Internal drive can't be upgraded

AHAHAHAHAHAHA!! You can't buy a speedy 10000rpm HDD or an amazing SSD and put it in your beloved last gen videogame. In 2017. Love it!

Damn asymmetrical design with lagging navigation

As if this shit ass asymmetrical trend wasn't enough, it's all sooooooo slooooowwww and buggy. You have to guess the best path to go where you want, and it's never the obvious choice, and now try it with this choppy moves and great...

(s)Loading times in general 

It's all soooooooooooooooooo sloooooooooooooooooooooowwwww. I'm okay with the company that decides to keep the level of detail that we have in this generation and use all the new horsepower of its new console to load everything faster. I'll gladly stand current graphics that appear instantly on my screen every time, unlike...

Forza Horizon 3 taking more than 2 MINUTES to load after race

Oh?! You think that's not that bad? Try waiting 2 minutes after every page you read or video you watch to go to the next one, looking at a black screen with a loading icon. FFS!

Achievements don't work if offline

Why??

If internet disconnects, my profile is logged out and the game restarts

Whyyyyyy?? So, I'm in the middle of an offline race in Forza and the game closes, meaning I lose my progress in said race. I have to reload the game and start over because...

Achievement in Forza Horizon 3 that can't be obtained if you didn't play the game in march or something

Apparently, if you didn't participate in an online activity that gave you a rare car, you can't get a certain achievement and because of that, can't 100% the game. That's fair.

I'm sure I'm forgetting something(s) (probably with a lot of esses), but my anger is growing rapidly and I don't(?) want to smash this Box on the floor. If the mood strikes before I strike it with a bat, I'll update this.